Dating for stoners is really a unique experience. Sure, if you stick to other cannabis consumers, the conversations are less taboo. We’ve all seen the memes: the couple that smokes together, stays together. But I don’t necessarily believe that the “stoner couple” is the only couple goals. You see, finding a partner in 2021 is difficult enough, exasperated by the prerequisites that we try to enforce. Scroll through any dating app and you come across 420 friendly insinuations and the intentionally placed emojis. And while I completely agree with maintaining your standards, is needing your partner to be a smoker a good thing? Or are we limiting our own possibilities? 

I could never claim to know about matters of love. You see, I am a hopeless romantic.

It’s because of this that I am prone to falling for non smokers. Not for any particular reason. I just don’t really ask or find out if they do smoke beforehand. Since I smoke, I didn’t need or expect it from anyone else. I never wanted to fall into the uncomfortable conversations that come with dating as a stoner. I buy my own weed, afterall. Most of my significant dating encounters happened with non smokers. Although there were plenty of smoking / fuck buddy situations, it was never intentional. Like my favorite singer Jenni Rivera said, I like who I like, and period. 

I always hated that moment when I had to have the cannabis talk with a date. I was always worried that I would be judged negatively for smoking. Sure, I dealt with plenty of cringe faces from men and their prejudices. But I also dealt with men who didn’t understand what kind of smoker I was. Men who grilled me about my smoking. Men who claimed to be ok with it and later wouldn’t stop lecturing me about it. Men who would ask ‘You’re going to smoke again”? I had to remove the negative connotation about my smoking. Instead, I spoke about my usage just as I was speaking about my morning cup of coffee: regular, but not detrimental.

what should we expect as stoners in the dating realm?

We should expect respect. The ability to partake without question. A partner who doesn’t judge or hold your habit against you. Someone who might not understand, but remains impartial. This could all be from someone who smokes, or someone who doesn’t. Relationships are about finding someone who you can be your authentic self with. If you’re like me, your authentic self comes with a blunt. The person who will love you, will love you so much they will want to roll them for you. They will hold your blunt to your lips while you’re wet in a pool. They will buy you little gifts that remind them of your stoner ass. That person will be a smoker, or they won’t. And that’s ok.

It’s easy to get caught up in finding the perfect partner. Especially when there are websites and apps galore claiming to house the next love of your life. My advice: give non smokers a chance. We live in a legalized state, so most people are accepting. Sure, you’re going to come across a few with a negative opinions. But most people of a certain age have gotten over those prejudices. Instead of boxing ourselves as cannabis consumers, we should be talking about it to everyone. I use cannabis to keep me focused while I work, I use it to alleviate my social anxiety, and I use it to help with my acid reflux. And hell, I use it to have a grand ol time, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Any partner in my life will just have to accept that fact.

Dating for stoners is difficult, traumatizing, and time consuming.

The amount of effort it takes to date in 2021 is equal to having a hobby. Do yourself a favor and don’t let cannabis be a hang up in your dating world. Because if you are a productive cannabis consumer, there is no reason your usage should bring you embarrassment. Don’t be afraid to enforce this idea, to stop those with negative opinions, and to demand your respect. Happiness in love means being happy with the person we are. Not every minute of every day, but as a whole. Most importantly, you deserve a love that is real. Someone who loves your true self. Someone who won’t judge you, or make you feel ashamed for any part of your life. Lastly, make sure that you’re loving your true cannabis consuming self. With no shame.

Stay up to date on this post and more by signing up to my email list!

Follow me on Instagram! @mexandthecitychi