In all of my years as a smoker, my biggest pet peeve has been this idea that because I have a vagina I shouldn’t smoke. This isn’t everyone’s opinion of course, in fact I am surrounded by many non judgmental non smokers. Most of the guys I’ve dated have also been non smokers and willingly would roll my blunts with no hesitation. No, who I’m referring to is that small, yet vocal part of the population that seems to think that what’s in between my legs should dictate what goes in my lungs.
I’ve been a regular cannabis consumer for at least 10 years, pre-legalization. In the course of these years, I’ve encountered many “smoking is nasty” comments. Usually it’s from someone who bunches cigarette smokers, in with the weed smokers. That’s fair, if smoking in general is the problem I can totally understand. I can even understand people worried about getting high from second hand smoke. What I can’t understand is that judgey group of people who say things like “smoking makes girls unattractive”. This post is for you.
And I don’t mean to preach, really, but these are Infuriating opinions. What I’m referring to is this idea that women have to be a certain way. To be a woman or to be labeled as a woman you have to abide by society’s idea of who you’re supposed to be. These ideals are so dangerous because they restrict who people are allowed to respect. Which is why trans women are still attacked. It’s the world’s harsh opinion of something so different from what they’re used to. That doesn’t make them any less of women. Bodybuilding, playing sports, smoking don’t make us any less of women. We go through life, we experience sexual harassment at an early age, we’re sexualized, we are underpaid, and people think smoking is going to take away from our experience as a woman? I’m proud to be a smoker and I’m proud that I see so many more women embracing it.
Do you know what really makes me angry? Judgmental women. I’m usually not offended by the insults or negative comments from men. Who I’m most offended by is other women who think it’s OK to talk down on you because you smoke. Sure you may have healthy lungs, but you have an unhealthy opinion on women’s roles. It’s sad that in 2020 there are still women shaming other women for their choice in lifestyle. It’s almost Stockholm syndromish, the way that some women will defend men’s ideals of what a woman is supposed to be. Some women go their whole lives without smoking, some try it and don’t like it, some try it, like it and then quit when they’re older, and some like it and never quit. That’s just it. No negative connotation needed.
You could probably apply this to a lot of different hobbies, lifestyle choices, even relationship choices. I truly don’t believe that as women we should be judging each other for the choices we make. Especially during a time when we are grasping at every bit of any and everything that will bring happiness. Now is not the time to judge each other and belittle each other. Now is the time to come together, despite our differences and truly unite. If not as women, then as brown women. We’re used to judgement from our hispanic families. I encourage you to be the change. Let’s teach young girls, the women of tomorrow, the virtues that truly matter as a human. Respect, loyalty, ambition, self worth. That’s what defines you as a woman, not what you put in your pipe.