Have you ever found yourself blasted and zoning out at your desk at work? It truly is a horrible feeling, and one that will have your ass unproductive in minutes. Sure, we all need the occasional pick-me-up, but unless you’re a seasoned consumer, one hit can turn into holy-fuck-I’m-high. And while consuming marihuana might be legal, being stoned to the bone at your desk might be against company policy. But don’t fear, your friendly neighborhood seasoned smoker is here to get you through the next 8 hours.
- Don’t spray your face, spray your neck! Most people will tell you to splash a little cold water on your face. Well, even if you are lucky enough to go makeup free at work, no one wants to come out of the office bathroom looking like a bird after a bath. My suggestion: take a few paper towels and soak with cold water. Ring out any excess and apply the paper towels to the back of your neck and on your chest. It will awaken your senses and bring your body temperature down. Practice a few breathing exercises while you dab the paper towels on your skin and within minutes you’ll feel fresh and ready to not look high.
- Don’t drink coffee, drink water! A lot of people think that drinking coffee will awaken you, but being high isn’t a lack of energy. Water is naturally the better option. Drink as much as you comfortably can, but don’t gulp it down. The point is to naturally detoxify. Not only will it give you a cure for that cotton mouth, but it’s also like a mental shower, sobering you up. Splash some lemon in that water for an even tastier sobering method.
- Now is the time for menial tasks. Catch up on your emails, file those old files. Staying busy in a way that won’t force verbal communication is key to avoiding anxiety. Update your calendar, update your reports, everyone has busy work to do. Get in your groove and occupy the rest of your day with all of those overdue tasks you’ve been avoiding. By the end of the day you will feel accomplished, while having spent your day in a productive high. Being productive prevents extra attention.
- DON’T avoid your higher up. If you work in an environment where you’re closely monitored, flying under the radar might sound like a good idea. The reality is, micro-managers will micro-manage every day. Instead of wasting your high ass energy trying to avoid them, divert that energy into small accomplishments. Make eye contact briefly and continue in your work, answer their questions without encouraging conversations. It’s important to seem busy while being responsive as needed. They can’t hover over you forever, and when they do, fake it til you make it.
- Always have an ally. When you live in a legal state, talking about consuming cannabis is a little easier. This is truer in larger work environments, when the chance that there’s a fellow stoner is higher. You have to be very careful, as this type of relationship usually takes months to develop. Remember that not everyone can be an ally, and some people will use this knowledge against you simply because they can. Find the person you can trust with this fact about you, and who’ll have your back when you inevitably get too high to be at work.
As a professional and seasoned smoker, I already know there are a few things I just won’t do when I have to be productive. I genuinely haven’t had this type of problem in years, but it has taken me years of wake and baking to accomplish. Being productive while high at work is about confidence, it’s about the type of high you enjoy. Once you’ve developed your own relationship with your “high”er self, being around others won’t give you so much anxiety. Until then, I got your back.I hope these tips help, please make sure to sign up to stay up to date on new posts.